good girl

I had someone tell me once that they had searched for how to be a good woman, and wound up on one of my writings and then hopped on over to my blog. Ironic, I think.

And it got me to thinking, I've always been the "good girl", but why? I want to be a good woman, yes, but for very different reasons that what I seem to be now.

I don't want to be a good friend because I always agree, comply, and smile and nod. I don't want to be a good friend because I never say, "no, that's not right" or, "that's really hurtful." I don't want to be a good friend because I'm always there, always available, always compromising me.

I don't want to be a good employee because I always say, "yes, I will" or because I allow all other tasks, deadlines, and needs to come before my own, before my family, or really, before my faith.

I don't want to be a good writer because I always write what "works" for others, because I never offend. I don't want to be a good writer because it sounds okay to you, or fits what is popular or accepted.

I don't want to be a good woman because I'm mostly a good doormat. Sadly, that's what I've been for many, many years. And rather than speaking up, I fear losing the title of "good person" and allow frustration and anger to seep into every nook and cranny of my life. What I really want is to be a good woman because I stand up for what is right, what is rightly mine.

I want to be a good friend because I tell you what you're doing is wrong or hurtful. I want to be a good friend because I warn you about the dangers of your decisions. I want to be a good employee because I demand equal respect and courtesy, and I never allow your thoughts and opinions to diminish my faith. I want to be a good writer by offending the deep, dark places you've never gone before. I want to be a good writer who makes you think in ways you haven't and engage in your own questions and discoveries. I want to be a good writer by making you acknowledge the truth of God and Christianity, instead of the washed-away, clouded perceptions that are left by religion. I want to be a good writer who helps, but doesn’t compromise.

I want to be a good woman because I make a stand for the good and for truth. I want to be a good woman despite my offending you. I want to be a good woman who knows she is a child of the Ruler, of The King, and doesn't allow fear of being rejected or scorned to stop her. I want to be a good woman for a completely different reason I ever have before. And it is a conscious, day-by-day decision I'll have to make and keep, even when my definition of a "good person" is questioned.


Not a single person on earth is always good and never sins. ~~Ecclesiastes 7:20


A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart ~~Matthew 12:35


Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. ~~Romans 12:2