Sunday, July 8

from the fires

Three years ago, I had just quit my job with the scientologists (I get it, Katie Holmes) and was in search of something bigger. This was typically true of all four years after graduating high school. I had searched and searched for what I might be called to do (back then, I was looking for "a purpose") and was kind of tired of that search. I didn't have a new job, and was unemployed for about 4 to 6 weeks. At the same time, I was scheduled for a Beth Moore event in Colorado Springs.

I went alone and it was sort of ‘blizzarding’ outside, so I was already hesitant and discouraged. Beth speaks a lot about the hearts of women and where we tend to lose ourselves. We stop hearing from God and start believing all the body image and self-esteem lies looming about. Something kept coming to mind. "Women's leadership". Nowadays, I'll call that "hearing from God". You'll see why.

Now, I've spent the past three years remembering that very vivid moment in my life, wondering when that may come up again. However, I'm only 24 and I've let that overpower God's power. I've often thought, "when I'm 30, I'll be confident, and a little more laid back, and God will probably start really using me".

This morning, I was greeted by three of my new favorite ladies. I've only met them recently, and they have all met 30, had children and all that, but they've really taken me in. They asked me to head back to a quiet room with them. (You should probably know that I always hated the thought of the principal’s office. In fact, I think that's how I escaped that deathly place, I was so terrified that I made sure to never get in trouble...and their seriousness made me think I was in trouble.) Anyway, they sit me down and say they've been doing lots of praying. They recently lost a member of their women's leadership, and they've been in need of a fourth person. Lots of praying. Lots of waiting. Then, just the other day at their monthly meeting, they all sat down and told one another that they had heard my name for the spot that needs filled.

They've actually been praying for months, before I even started attending Crosstimbers church, and the name 'Beth' came to everyone's mind. They knew that name, Beth, was a place filler for my name, and when I told them about my Beth Moore experience, they nearly fell out of their chairs.

So, here I am, three years later being asked to be one of four women on the leadership and ministries team. As we sat there and connected all of the dots, we were cloaked in goosebumps and grateful tears. What a remarkable moment that was.

And it brings me back to my post about the fires. They were very damaging to many people and families, but they were cleansing, too. Colorado forests are covered and taken over by some sort of beetle. This nasty bug gets into the tree, breeds, eats, and lives among the bark. It kills the inside of the tree, damaging the roots, the leaves, the sap, and eventually infects acres and acres of forests. The only way to rid the trees of the awful bug is an intense and long-lasting freeze or fire. None of us would ever pray for a fire to cleanse and heal the forests, but God recognizes the need.

I've gone through moments and days and months of fire. I know now that it’s because I had bugs that needed removed, and I needed to be cleansed and healed before I could lead and help other women. The fires are not necessarily easy or pleasant, but I am grateful for them and what they've done in my life.

Three years later, God is leading me into a place that He called me to and promised to me. You may not have known, but I tried to get into a different class with a different professor. Once I had no choice, I accepted a worldviews class with Dr. Cole, and Dr. Cole invited us to his church, Crosstimbers, and there I met the ladies of the women's ministry.

Do not ever think that you are too young or too old, too damaged or too lost. God promises great things and uses anyone and everyone willing to accept His way of life. Don’t ever doubt that a fire in your life isn’t leading to something amazing. Don’t forget that fires lead to a humble and grateful life, a life full of prayer and reliance, a life with a deeper relationship. And don't forget, that even in times of fire and devastation, God heals and cleanses. Remember that He reigns and He rains.


  1. Thanks for the encouragement! I graduate college in December and have really been freaking out if I'm ready or able or good enough for what lies ahead.
    It's always good to be reminded that God uses us even when we doubt our own abilities!

    1. Absolutely! :)
      My boss told me this morning that even though I'll finish college in a couple years, don't be surprised when I'm working a "flipping burgers" job, because that's what the economy looks like.
      It's so important for me to remember that the economy does not determine my job opportunities, God does. And that God is not calling me to school to then leave me stranded without a job. He has a purpose, a really great one.
      Keep your chin up and rely on God to make you able and ready.