4 Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes
And He just would not say it if it were not true. It would not be printed in Psalm 37 if it were a lie.
And five months ago, that's just what He was doing; giving me a desire of my heart to plan events, organize parties, and be a part of that culture and society. I did not have the training or the experience, the education or the marketable resume, but the job was mine. And I'll forever be able to look back and see those few months as a time that God allowed me to chase a dream and to live out a desire of my own.
And then, it was time for business. It was time for a brand new desire.
I seem to take a sort of solitude when the yearly flu bug makes its visit. I'm too stubborn to see a doctor for what seems like a common cold, and I'm definitely too stubborn to put my duties and responsibilities on any backburner. So I push and then whine about the state I am in. I did plenty of that this week; starting a new job, babysitting some new friends of ours and starting my first class in what seems like a decade (or 4 years).
I've been so distracted and worried that I'd never be able to handle the tasks and the balancing act of adding brand new things in a brand new schedule. As I've mentioned before, I am a creature of habit. Change and I have not yet found a happy medium in our relationship. But what I noticed last night, sitting in class with a wise and experienced pastor (who also happens to be my professor) is that I am completely immersed; immersed in a new step of life, immersed in God's graces and words, immersed in a day-to-day schedule that is completely and totally centered around Him.
It may be that my 8-5 consists of streaming K-Love online, and prayer bulletins around my desk, and elderly ladies who call to bless me each day. Then again, maybe it's the two little kids that have Alex and I reconsidering our choice to start a family anytime soon. (Just kidding!) Maybe it's how they teach us to be more giving, more willing, and more loving. Or maybe it's that we prayed before class, gave our testimonies in front of our merciful and kind classmates, or that our professor read to us Psalm 139 to remind us of our worth to our creator who knows us by name, by heart.
I realized, somewhere between each of those, that I am soaked; completely and totally drenched, saturated and submerged in God in every hour of my day. No, I don't have a lot of free time anymore. But what did I do with that free time, anyway? I don't have a lot of time to sit and wonder or worry, or time to lie down and watch or read, but instead I am fully engaged and constantly being moved in His word and His promises.
And I am more than blessed, I am grateful. I am grateful that this is where my path has led me, and I am grateful that I am being trusted with these responsibilities, and trusted with these uses of my time. To me, it means that I have matured, I am moving forward, and that I am beyond the place of just being in church on Sunday, praying in the mornings, or attending a bible study. I am in a place where there is much more to be done, much more to be learned.
So, take some time today or this weekend to be completely submerged. Don't try to find the find time or schedule it in, just do it. Just allow yourself to be soaked in the glory and the love of God, your Father.