Wednesday, January 4

a story

" A story is about a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it." -Pastor Peter Barber

My dad sent me a text the other day.

"Hi Alyssa. Just thinking about you today. How are you?"

Your average text for most fathers and daughters. Not your average text if you're my father and myself, about 4 years ago. 4 years ago we were still juggling questions of 'who are you', 'how do you react', and 'why are we so misunderstood' on both sides. We had a rough start, and there was no manual to maneuver through it. And I used to see us as a father-daughter combo that would never be fully fixed. I imagined we'd never get to have a father-daughter dance at my wedding, we'd never have late night phone calls because, and I'd never feel like daddy's little girl. That's how I saw it.

Three months ago, we danced. At my wedding. Three times, actually. He gave a toast at the rehearsal dinner and we both cried. He walked me down the aisle with a proud smile, we hugged a million times that wedding day, and cried even more. There are pictures of my dad that say 'she's my little girl, and I love her'. I cherish those pictures in the deepest places of my heart. We talk on the weekends just because, and I can say that I feel like his little girl. I know that he loves me, I know he is proud of me, and I know he thinks I'm beautiful.

God fixed that. That relationship of ours was completely broken by factors from the past and the present and the future. I imagined it would never be okay, it would never be fixed. And I saw it healed, mended, fixed and more beautiful than I thought, on my wedding day.

I've let all of the other garbage cloud my memories of that day. That was also a rough, rough start. And I've let anger and sadness cloud what God did for me that day. I forget that He gave me all I ever wanted as a little girl, with my dad.

I believe my dad always wanted a better relationship, too. I believe he overcame a lot of conflict to get it. He overcame fear and lies just to be able to send me a simple text on a Friday afternoon. And he'll tell you it was God that helped him overcome those fears and lies.

So, now I'm the character in want of something different, something better. I dream of days that are full of joy and happiness and laughter. I dream of a life that really is ideal and causes other couples to wonder how we did it. I dream of days where there are no stairs to climb and no dark curtains to find my way out of. I dream of days of rest.

And it's unfair of me to continue imagining it will never happen. It's unfair of me to forget what God has already done in my life, and what He wants to continue doing. It's unfair to miss the fact that He is writing a story. A story that surpasses my imagination and any story I could've written. A story that tells tales of greatness and of love.

1 comment:

  1. Wow honey, this is great! I'm so happy for you and your dad! Made me cry! I love you.