Tuesday, December 13

Still, Busy Girl

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."

Proof of this very verse can be found in the fact that a friend sent it to me this morning. Without notice or plea, just out of her discerning heart.

I feel so ashamed when I begin to feel tired, or weary, or hopeless. There are other women, other people and other families who are facing more tragic, awful, horrific battles than I am at any given moment. But it doesn't stop my eyes from being droopy and puffy, or my heart from being heavy. It doesn't stop the tired I feel.

It also doesn't stop the fact that I am a busy girl, for the most part. I create agendas and schedules for each day of my week at work. File this paperwork, call that group, design this menu. I even plan meals and outfits, accordingly and properly. At home, I squeeze in a run (most days), a time for writing, time for cooking and a quick tv show to unwind, and an hour for reading my book. I don't actually write them in my planner, but I plan for plans, plan for busy.

I just don't know, yet, how to just be still. I'm not entirely sure how to sit back and let someone else fight a battle for me. I'm not sure how to let someone else take care of what I need, or how to trust that someone else will fix me and help me.

But it's so evident that we, as humans, are not capable of doing it all on our own. I am not able to handle every situation, every day, around every corner. It's confusing that being still would be the answer, or the solution to changing my situation. How is the lack of fighting and struggling the answer to no longer fighting and struggling?

But, then again, how many times did the Bible make completely perfect sense, and answer every question we ever had about how things would turn out? Faith at its finest, I think.

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