Tuesday, November 15

Mirror, Mirror

I have a nickname at work. 'Preacher's Wife'.

Most, no-all, of my co-workers are nice, fun people. For some reason, though, they've decided that this slightly obnoxious phrase is slightly funny. And I suspect they believe it's so funny because it happens to be shocking to them. Actually, I know this to be true.

"He is a pastor, helping out at Northglenn Christian Church."
"So, you're married to a preacher? I never would've guessed that..." or
"There's a disconnect for ya!"

And trust me, I go to work completely clothed, completely sober, and completely happy. Integrity is still one of my closest friends. But it's surprising how often I hear people tell me they never would've pegged me for a pastor's wife. And I would be lying if I said I disagreed with them.

I mean, really, how did I-this broken, weary person-get in the position I am in? It's sort of like my new job. How did I happen to walk into a job of my dreams; a job I've been hoping to have and wondering how to get?

I just, did.

(And I really love this job. So much so that I feel sort of...alien. Liking a job this much should practically be illegal. Or sinful.)

But the truth is, I myself peek in the mirror some days and wonder where I found this mask. Where did I find a 'Preacher's Wife' costume? Because I have no idea how to put it on. Other days, I look at that same mirror and feel a huge sense of pride. 'Yeah, I was put here for this. I might've been made for this.' And either way that mirror looks, I sense gratitude.

It's simple. I don't deserve what I have, nor do I have all the right credentials, all the experience, or all the right badges for the places I am in. I just found myself being led in the right direction. All I can hope is that one day I will feel right at home. Maybe people will never say, 'You are the Perfect Preacher's Wife', but maybe they will say, "I'm glad to have you in my church. I'm glad you have walked this same walk, seen these same dark stairs, and stumbled over the same blocks.' And really, that would make all of the laughs worth it.

1 comment:

  1. This is such a great blog...... you are totally right, you can help others the best by knowing where they have been, not just by "preaching" what you think is right. Someday you and Alex will look back and be able to use everything you have seen and done and really help people!! Trust me, I have been there and only recently have I been able to help somebody with my experiences from my darkest days!! Love you - Mom