There are two distinct ways to define the word fierce. (Neither of which come from Tyra Banks.)
One is having or displaying an intense aggressiveness. I don't think I like that one...
But the second one is to show a heartfelt or powerful intensity. Yes, that one is much better.
My latest quest to be o.k. with the person I really am, has led me in a search for who that really is. Somewhere between junior high and 25, I think a lot of young women start to ask who they are, why are they here, or who do they want to become, all the while worrying they they aren't sufficient or exactly who people need them to be. (Didya catch that?) Somewhere between being the scrawny, athletic girl and becoming the mature, spiritual wife I hope to be, I have completely and totally lost sight of who I was made to be.
I have known the concept and the feeling and the emotion and the power of love since I can remember. I can remember the power it has to change and guide and help all of those surrounded by it. That is what makes me what to create a beautiful, soft, enormous throw blanket of love for all of the people around me. I want them to know what I know about love. And what I know about God.
And hopefully that's just what my actions and words will exude to all of those people. But there is a component of this girl that was divinely and purposely placed deep within to use for good. This component is what makes me unique and altogether interesting. I've been given the component of fierceness.
This quality can come in all shapes and sizes. It can tear through feelings, or reform a bond. It can scar a relationship, or heal a deep wound. It can fight a fire with a glass of water, build a bridge out of toothpicks, and move a mountain with a mustard seed. Fierceness is what gives me my fight, my determination, and the survival skills I know. As well as a faith that has plans for bigger and better.
Occassionally-or too occassionally-I have found this trait to be detrimental. Detrimental to people or my emotions. And for that I am sorry. But I can no longer be sorry for carrying that piece of me. I can only be prepared for the battles that it will conquer and defeat, and the enemies it will destroy. And while I continue to figure out how I was designed and created, I will also pray for wisdom on how to use this powerful gift.
You see, a woman was made to be a warrior, too. Some days, she just needs some love and care, and someone to protect her. But other days, especially if she's anything like me, she's prepared to fight for good and truth and to defend those around her from harm.
And I am surely a warrior.