Seasonal

There was an awfully chilly breeze coming through my window this morning. Of course, this was entirely my fault because I left that window fan all night long....But only a few days ago that same fan was bringing a restitution from the dry, summer heat. This is a sure sign that fall is right around the corner.

In Nebraska, we are fortunate enough to experience all four seasons. Our winters are snowy, our springs are warm and rainy, our summers are (generally) dry and hot, and our falls are cool breezes and warm rays of sunshine. And as Nebraskans we have surely learned when each are coming. We seem to be so ready for the next one to enter, to phase out the cons of the old one. For instance, I know many a Bluffs resident that are adding cool, winter days to their prayer requests as we speak.

And I too am always ready to welcome the next season. It's almost like 3 to 4 months of one season is the sufficient amount of time. This gives you a few weeks to enjoy all the recreational perks of Winter and Summer equally. (Unfortunately, fall is usually the season that experiences the loss in days when winter or summer have overtaken their fair share.) I'm always looking forward to what is next, taking in the sweet surprises of a new pace and new climate.

And I love Fall. I'm so fortunate to be getting married in fall because this season has a way with my heart. Oh, the leaves, the breeze, the mere feel of fall, is just what I need at a time like this. You see, by now, the year has gone by and I have nearly missed it. I feel that way every year. I revel in the holiday season. (I'm talking full-blown, overflowing-joy, can't-get-enough-Christmas lover, here.) Then, I gladly ring in the new year, spend a week celebrating my birth and my life, and start toning up for bikini season. By the time that's all said and done, an entire year seems to have whisped right past me. Enter Fall, and its amazing comfort.

But, just like the weather, I am a seasonal person. Somehow, and for some reason I'm sure, I was created with some pretty torrential emotions. They're warm like the spring, hot and tempered like the summer, they blow in like the fall and sometimes leave a cold freeze like the winter. Learning to tame them or control them has been a bit of a challenge...But then again, do we get to control the weather?

I know women who are steady. They never falter or change under any circumstance. They delight in all things great, and all things difficult. They are always cool, calm, and collected. And sometimes, I feel slightly inadequate. The more I strive, suffer, and stress to be those women, the more I fault myself. And all the while I pray for some change or some help, hoping that God will tame some of seasons, rather than understanding His acceptance and love for the way He made me.

I'm still learning what all the emotions and change might mean, but part of me wonders if these huge emotions aren't designed for huge passion; a fire that moves, lives and breathes into the lives of others. I guess we'll just have to find out. But, for now, I'd better stop trying to control the way I was made. Especially since I am not the one who can control the weather.