A while back, I posted the lyrics to a song called Restless. I posted it because it so closely relates to how my heart can get. It can get bogged down by people and their disrepectful mindsets, or by lies that my enemy knows will work, or by worries that flood through my thoughts. I tend to reach a spot where the skies and my eyes are dreary. And then, my heart and soul are completely...restless.
I read my daily blog yesterday that said, "Whatever it is for you, do whatever it takes to bring your heart back to God." It's obvious to believers that if we stray from God's word, or leave His divine guidance, we can get dreary in a hurry. And so, out of love and obedience, we focus on His word. But it is out of need that we seek His love and comfort.
Fortunately, God never demands or forces us, but He offers us an abundance of beautiful opportunities to be close to Him. I've said before that a Bible study, with people you are close to and people who let you be open and honest, brings me a peacefulness deeper than words can express. I can read God's word and study in His word, but when it is discussed with other believers and friends, and new takes on each verse are brought to the surface, my heart opens up and finds rest.
I'm also an avid reader. I'm already subscribed to 18 daily blogs just so I can read them throughout a hectic workday. I also scope out every book aisle in the stores, in case something catches my eye, much like my recent find; a story about a wedding florist in South Carolina. Mmm. On a rainy evening, or a sunny afternoon, or a lazy morning, I can sit and read and feel a slice of Heaven in my sweats, by a window. When an author is describing a garden or a change of heart, I'm brought right back to a place of peace and beauty. And when I see birds chasing moths on the highway, or newly blossomed trees swaying in the breeze, I'm reminded of God's perfect creations and His rulership.
Most recently, I have been restless about upcoming plans and how things will fall into place. Thanfully, I've found the one person who can calm my soul with a simple glance. With the touch of his hand, my heart feels rest and ease.
Alex and I went looking at wedding bands (!!!) and then had our own chinese feast last night. Sushi and wontons and rice and sesame chicken-don't judge. We ate and talked and laughed and ate some more. Earlier in the day I had read part of my Bride's Handbook and noted the chapter on remembering how blessed I am to have a groom who is so perfectly fit for me. And how important it is for me to keep him and affection towards him constant in the midst of planning. And sitting at dinner last night, I realized how I don't have to remind myself to be affectionate; I just am. And I don't have to remind myself that I am blessed and fortunate; I know I am-in the deepest parts of my heart-I know I'm a lucky girl. And as we sat and talked about everything under the sun, my heart floated back to cloud nine, leaving all worries and stress and restlessness behind. And I thought, this is one of those places for me. One of those places where I need to go to find my Father, and my God. One of those places where I am reminded of His goodness and love and forgiveness.
And honestly, how lucky is that? That the person who has chosen me to spend his life with, would be the same person who brings me closer to God; the same person who shows me God's heart on a daily basis. So, today, thanks to reading and verses and morning skies, and dinner with my fiance', my heart is at rest, closer to God, and right back where it belongs.