One thing you ought to know about me is this: I try very hard to be a logical thinker and decision-maker. I always spend hours trying to make a decision that is smart, beneficial, makes the most sense, and is most accepted. I put my poor mind through torment trying to make the right decision.
Where this roots from, I have no clue. It might be that I've done my fair share of dumb decision making. Or, it might be that deep down, I want to make the right decisions in God's eyes so that my path will follow the one He has laid out for me. Or maybe, and reluctantly, I want to appear "put together" and smart in the eyes of the world.
Regardless of the exact cause, I'm finding out that following my heart is much more liberating, inspiring, and truer to myself than any other thought process or pro’s and con’s list could ever be. I’m finding that closing my eyes, spreading my arms, and leaping over the edge feels more right to me than any “smart” decision ever has. I’m finding that if you dig to the deepest parts of your heart, it will tell you exactly what you desire, exactly where to go, and it will show you exactly who you are.
Think of jumping out of a plane—skydiving, rather. (If you’ve never done it, you ARE missing out.) Looking out over the land that could potentially be your death-pad, it is only natural to be terrified. And it is only natural that there would be hecklers behind you, discouraging you to do something daring. There WILL be nay-sayers (weird word), or boll weevils eating away at your crops. But in the end, who cares. Once you've left the corridors of safety, you'll feel more alive than ever before. But what if we all lived this way? What if we really followed everything our heart was saying?
I’m not talking about the quick-fixes or taking the easy way out or two-minute tricks, I’m talking about the actual things your hearts is telling you. What if we really listened and shut out the noise of critics, put away the status quo, and gave up on trying to do the right thing? It may or may not be where I am in life, and maybe everyone else has this part figured out. But, for this young twenty-something, I'm finding comfort in taking a risk.
All I’m saying is that I have finally given up on trying to do the right or smart thing, and I’ve given up trying to impress. I finally sat down with myself, had a ‘heart to heart’ (yup, I’m cheesy) and decided that closing my eyes, spreading my wings, and following its lead, is getting me right where I need to be.