Foot-Eater

I have expressed my love for words one, or 500, times. I even sit by this laptop for hours, typing them out, trying to make some sense of my life. I also really, really love a crossword. I mean, that clue that is hardly a clue is staring you right in the face, putting all this pressure on you to get it right (because no real word-lover uses a pencil for crosswords; have some guts!). You ponder and place your hand against your temple-the true image of a hard-thinker-until finally and miraculously, you find the exact word that fits perfectly into the puzzle!

This, my friends, is really a great feeling.

So then I wonder, how on earth could I sometimes be so foolish and reckless with words? How could I sometimes throw them out there like water balloons at the principal's car? Like peanuts on the dining room floor? Then I wonder; where did people ever get the expression, "put your foot in your mouth?"

Well, here's how. It's just awkward. And really uncomfortable.

You might be a 'foot-eater' if you catch yourself spitting out the wrong words or a phrase that sounds disrespectful, ill-humored, insensitive, lacking in knowledge, degrading, embarrassing, rude or crude or just plain ridiculous.

I don't know how it happens or why there is still no prescription or remedy for it. I also don't know why I seem to do it so often. I promise I am not lacking in knowledge or sensitivity, I just happen to be cursed with an apathetic tongue and a reckless vocabulary.

I think I'll blame this on my grandma. She sure throws out some wacky sentences, with zero remorse and even less couth.

All of this to say, I apologize for past remarks, current statements, and future flounders. The only-and I mean ONLY-thing that saves me on a blog, is I can backspace and edit.

All of THIS to say; my brother is competing in the Nebraska State Speech meet tomorrow. He's there because his speech is pretty great, and when performed by the actual cool person of our family, it's amazing! (You can also see him as a lead in Gering's musical in April. I'm applying to be his assistant when he's rich and famous.)

Cameron Bruegger, you are an awesome brother chalk-full of talent, humor, and intelligence. I hope you haven't caught the genetics of 'foot-eating' and that you give those people in Kearney a run for their money, kick-butt, and take home that trophy! I’m so proud of you!
Remember: Do NOT play with matches, squids WILL be squids, and sometimes it’s best to leave out the details. ;-) GOOD LUCK!